peace

mmm.
happy.
peace- be still.
that is what i am.

lately all i have is a calm--
a peace.
something that keeps me at ease when my flesh screams-
a want for anxiety and stress.
everything inside has just stopped for a breather.

i must admit it makes me feel as if i'm on top of the world.
oh joyous day.

what am i holding on to?

oh you silly girl.
girl.
that's the problem.
i am.
and you are only just a boy.
only that-
you are.
and what i dream you up to be.
like gatsby for daisy.
are you what i think
or far from?
who am i kidding.
silly girl.
i am.

well i know i want to teach.
i think younger kids. like 3rd or 4th grade.
mexico.
every thanksgiving for the past 2 years, i've been going to montemorellos mexico on a mission trip w/ my church.
i always loved it, but i never thought it would have such an impact on me.
the closer i realize november is, the more excited i get.
this past wednesday, my mom was telling me that the sunday before, terry told her that he could really tell that i had a heart for mexico. he knew that i wasn't just there to be there. there was somthing. i couldn't help but cry.
and this morning in chruch, terry made an announcement about mexico coming up really soon, and then said that during worship he got this little word that goes something like this.
whenever we go to mexico and we make 5000 christmas bags, that is joy. that is worship unto our father. something that is so meaningful to those children. something that may be the only thing those kids may receive throughout the entirety of the year.
tears.
i'm always unsure of what the future may hold for me. but the lord is my shepherd. he guides me. he has a plan and a future for me. and for whatever reasons, right now i think that mission teaching is my path. that may change. it could just be a whim. a calling for this day. a feeling. just a heart for it.

all is well

well today was marvelous, as far as the past day, as in the day before yesterday.

choir used to make me nervous because i'd never done anything like that before, but i love it. i'm becomming more confidant and louder. mrs hodges is a wonderful teacher and a definite blessing. we are singing this song called ladaunte or something of that nature, and i looooove it. speech is pretty fun too. i had my doubts, but it's certainly one of my favorites now.



on another note, (just kinda rambling now) i think that over the summer and so far this year, although it's only the end of the 2nd week of school, i think that i have grown a lot as a person. i think i def. have a better idea of it is that i truly am. what it is that i feel. who brings out the best in me. what i enjoy in a person and or in myself. i appreciate more. i feel more. i am mature in more aspects.



i just i'm alisha. i am alisha. i know who i am.

senior.

senior year has already been the most difficult for me. already have i been faced with several challenges- yes some easier than others. many have moved away. many have changed over the previous 2 months- including myself. many times have i had to just get a grip. many times have i had to step up to the plate. a plate in which i thought was too high. many times have i considered just giving up: now for instance. many times have i stressed too much. but many times i have stopped to rejoice in wonderful life that has been given me. many times have i enjoyed new company. many times have i looked at the sky and thought what a wonderful Creater i know. many times have i learned to just let the Lord me my shepherd. let Him be my guide. because of Him i can do all things. because of Him i shall have a sound mind. because of Him i shall have peace.