15 February, 2008


ok so i hate all of my other blogs. it kinda feels as if i'm trying to come up with all the right things to say. whatever. anyways! God is most certainly good to me. So i applied to Howard Payne University, finally got everything sent in, and was left to wait. So Monday i'm watching Wicker Park, just passing the time when i should most certainly be doing my homework, then my dad handed me a huge envelope from HPU. Of course never paying attention, a new habit that's taken over my brain, i saw the sender, then just opened the package. oh hello! it was my acceptance letter. oh joy. :D well of course i knew i was gonna get in--there was never a doubt about it, there was just the fact that i was waiting. i hate waiting. (all of this is inspiring a couple of new thoughts) after i saw that i was accepted, it wasn't like i was overjoyed "oh i got into a college!", but more or less that the 'gate' on the path that i'm traveling has been unlocked. corny, but that's the only metaphor or analogy i can muster up at this point.

so the following day, (tuesday the 12th) i had a clarinet audition at HPU at 11 am. it was all back to back. kinda couldn't believe it. so for once i've prepared for something concerning my clarinet; i'd been practicing everyday and i was a total pro on my songs. mom and i drove to HPU and i was freaking out. so we get there and i wandered into the music building, one in which i was so familiar with, so comfortable in. well i suppose my mind was wandering as well cause i nearly walked into the mens restroom when an older man was like, "try the other corner." was that embarrassing? take a stab. yah. i proceeded upstairs, palms sweating, my heart trying it's best to beat right outta my chest. oh it was fantastic. i found mr. ash's office walked in, introduced myself then talked about myself and college plans etc for about 10 minutes. i wanted to make a good impression, hello there's money on the line. ash asked if i wanted to warm up, got me a stand then left to go get mr gotcher. i played some scales, calmed my nerves, did some more praying, then hit some tough sections. my horn played so well and i loved the way the room made everything sound--very full and rich. well there was a knock on the door, and both teachers walked in. apparently they had been listening cause when i asked how much of each piece they wanted me to play, they said they already heard about all they needed to out in the hall. yay!

I played two pieces, and used extreme dynamics, and expression (got me some brownie pts), and when it was all done and over with i realized that on the crazy fast parts, that fit like 8 notes in one beat, i aced it, i was like yow. longggg story short, i'm in. and i'm also considering minoring in music. in mission work, music opens up doors that language and religious barriers can't. i figure, God has blessed me with many forms of mucis, why not use them to my fullest ability and glorify his kingdom? yeah yeah??

at the end of my day at HPU i was kinda thinking as i drove home. earlier in the year when i went to a 'yellow jacket monday' and toured the campus, i was so nervous, couldn't believe that in just a few short months i would be at college. it just kinda blew my mind, making me even more uncertain of everything that was happening. tuesday, as soon as i got outta the car, i knew already that everything had already altered.i was so ready, and i realized how much i had truly grown up. how ready i was for the college life. i was prepared to move on with my life--no inhibitions or doubts. i was a little shocked at everything that was runnin through my mind. but hey, it happens. i'm just ready. bring it on.

all in all, life is great. my amigas y amigos are all in their places with bright shiny faces. i'm making as many memories as possible. life is just happening so quickly. i'm not really sure how to handle it all. i don't wanna lose anyone close. yeah yeah, i realize that i'm not always gonna be in touch with everyone after HS, but i love these guys and gals so much! i just dont' wanna forget anyone or anything. that's what scares me today.

05 February, 2008