04 April, 2008

so this weekend is the bluebonnet pageant. i still can't believe i'm actually in it, and with everyday that brings me closer to it, more butterflies fill my stomach. oh goodness. without a doubt it will be a nice experience-both in confidence and in that it's something i would NEVER do. i decided last night as i was falling asleep (the time when my brain seems to be most in tune) that if they ask me why i entered into the pageant i'm just gonna be straight up and say that i need money for college plus what i said about experience. i really wanna win.

this entire week i've been on a Jesus high. i love the happy, it's all cool, take thanks in all, stand in awe at the beauty of it all type mode i've been in, which i want to be prolonged as long as possible. so i must say this has been an excellent manner in which to begin the month of april. i've also stopped to consider that while there are other means of hearing from God and 'gettin into it' nothing can or ever will substitute the word. if there's anything i falter in, it's without a doubt, not reading my bible. i could come up with a plethora of excuses, but hello, when it all boils down, they're all just excuses. so once i figure out where i set my bible...i can get on the ball. And might i add how amazing i find it that when you fervently trust in the Lord as your provider, your lover, savior, and master-- he reveals. heals. provides. loves. His goodness at this point in my life, and in the people around me is humbling.

i never write so that anyone can read but because a pen and paper, or the means of transferring thoughts via keyboard is cathartic. although if you tried to get me to practice this bit a few years back, it probably would have seemed like the most pointless effort of all. just thought i'd say that. i just wish i was more diligent about writing in my journal; i hate fragmented thoughts. i do love stream of conscious writing though.