01 August, 2010

the crush

so i don't really feel like writing anything right now, but i feel like i should keep up with this!

the crush, well i don't have a crush because i have a steady boyfriend of almost 2.5 yrs.this letter is for all the crushes i had before joe don.

Dear past crushes,
I can't believe i ever liked you. I was so entirely shallow, and naive. What i liked was of no substance and of juvenile reasons as well. Half of you never knew of my existence, and the other probably never knew i cared. When i look back i feel so stupid and i wonder how someone like me, one with morals and scruples,  could have fallen for something so ridiculous. I just feel like i was off my rocker; maybe i subconsciously looked for the rebellious because i was far from it and it's what my life lacked? Who knows.
All of you followed the same mold and to see the guy i ended up with makes me laugh. It's interesting to see the end product of this when you stop looking the person you think you'll end up with. My boyfriend is nothing like any of the crushes i ever fell hard for. We are opposites, met by happenstance, our friends were nothing alike, nor were our music taste. I'm an intellectual hippie, he on the other hand is a hauss/hulk follower of Christ. I think I needed all of you crushes out there to make me realize that what I thought i wanted maybe isn't the same thing that i needed or even subconsciously desired.