29 March, 2010

This day has been super. I crashed hard yesterday in work attire and everything at 1130 and I successfully woke up at 630 this morning, took a piping hot shower, got dressed, got my crap together, and headed to the caf to have some quiet time and breakfast. I got a baby baby bowl of yogurt and granola, a boiled egg, and a biscuit with sausage, skim milk, and water. super. I had time to read my devotional which was about praying, and lately I've been questioning how to pray and if what I'm praying for is stupid or allowed-how retarded of me, but I will say, when you neglect something for so long, you doubt yourself. To say the least, I've been putting my relationship with Christ on the back burner, and life has sucked. I want quiet time in the morning to to become a habit. I went to church last night, and I was totally out of it; I didn't get anything out of it, and I have no one to blame but yours truly. I don't know what's wrong with me! I've missed tutoring since spring break- that's like 3 weeks? gross. That's not commitment to the kids, and that doesn't reflect well on me either.
I got to class, and I was so alert and awake for once!

Anyway, I found out like 10 minutes ago that Dr. Weatherby just passed away. This really breaks my heart.
he was such a wonderful professor, told such interesting stories, didn't give a crap about what anybody though. He had traveled all over the world, taught at Cambridge for Pete's sake, and has a giant metal giraffe in his backyard. My all time favorite line would be, "all you can do in the winter is drink and raise hell". you will be missed sir.

27 March, 2010

life always goes too fast. make the best of it.

firstly, what part about i have severe allergies means it's okay to spray lots of perfume in my tiny breathing quarters?

lately i just want people to know that i unconditionally care, that i will be there for them and that i'm constant in what i say. i know that seems so silly, but i want to be someone that they can truly count on for anything, cause sometimes in life, that's what we really need. To know that someone out there will really be there by your side if they say they will, they will be praying for you if they say they will, that if you have something to say that they are listening intently to what you have to say. i just want to be love.

also, trying to write that last paragraph while listening to a really upbeat praise song was really difficult.

so on monday i woke up with this random case of a sore/tickly throat, and my eyes were red and puffy. i am never sick; i drink tons of water, exercise daily, eat healthy, and get decent sleep. well since spring i lost all sleep, and every night ended at 2:30 in the morning. to say the least, my body completely shut down and this gross cold/flu is what i got stuck with. I really hate being sick because when something like going to sleep turns into something bittersweet, you know it's bad. I love sleeping when i'm sick, but when i wake up i feel like crap. my lips are chapped, tongue is dry, i cant breathe, i'm drooling, and coughing ensues. hopefully this ends sooner than later.

i'm done whining. this past week doesn't even register in my memory because it went too fast.

  • i have a new geography teacher
  • work was cancelled twice
  • i made a 74 on my art test because i missed the last 20 pt question. i read it incorrectly. gay. i would have made a 94. 
  • crying throughout my entire diabetes speech
  • pledge auction
  • getting tons of goodies from work!
  • spending a lovely afternoon with kate
  • music night at the hub
  • sneak peak at vinyl club's set for fest
  • bake sale
  • math let out early after only 20 minutes
  • a tp adventure planned for later today :)
  • free tickets to see Alice in Wonderland for filling out a survey that consisted of either, "N/A or no child"
  • delicious panini sammies from fams
  • i'm taking watercolor with kate next year
overall it's been a pleasant week, but i just wish i wasn't as sick. i can't believe that this coming week is the last week of pledging, followed by easter break,  fest, and then banquet, and the next day is band tour and then like 1 week later is finals and then schooooooools outttttttttttttt! summertime. it's all happening too quickly and i'll no longer be a sophomore.
 life always goes too fast. make the best of it. 

19 March, 2010

running on nothing

it's spring sing week here at HPU.
that's really all that needs to be said; you understand everything that entails.

  • crazy long rehearsals
  • practice after the rehearsals
  • stress
  • trying to find time to cram homework in
  • pledging is still going on
  • learning dances and lines
to say the least, my life is chaotic and i'm running low on energy and patience all together.

so mom calls today about financial aid; last thing i even wanna think about. any time i even walk into that building i get a knot in my throat and i think i'm gonna start bawling. never fails. i hate money so much. it's the root of everything bad in my life. stress, worry, acne. life would be so much better without money.

i don't wanna think about anything right now.

yesterday joe don found out he may not even be able to make it to Rho banquet now. suck. Now i'm dateless, but more importantly, i haven't seen him since christmas, and now i'll have to wait until this summer, and that's the all time worst. i miss my best friend.

i'm ready for this week to be over. i'm ready for the summer, and to leave brownwood for a while, and to just be home. i'm not sure. i just well, i'm tired physically, mentally, spiritually. everything. sometimes i feel like i'm falling apart, and as soon as i get one part back in order the next comes loose and before i know it i'm broken.
i'll finish this later. i'm a mess, and my life is always on fast forward--no time to ever catch up.