19 March, 2010

running on nothing

it's spring sing week here at HPU.
that's really all that needs to be said; you understand everything that entails.

  • crazy long rehearsals
  • practice after the rehearsals
  • VERY LITTLE SLEEP
  • stress
  • trying to find time to cram homework in
  • pledging is still going on
  • learning dances and lines
  • VERY LITTLE SLEEP
to say the least, my life is chaotic and i'm running low on energy and patience all together.

so mom calls today about financial aid; last thing i even wanna think about. any time i even walk into that building i get a knot in my throat and i think i'm gonna start bawling. never fails. i hate money so much. it's the root of everything bad in my life. stress, worry, acne. life would be so much better without money.

i don't wanna think about anything right now.

yesterday joe don found out he may not even be able to make it to Rho banquet now. suck. Now i'm dateless, but more importantly, i haven't seen him since christmas, and now i'll have to wait until this summer, and that's the all time worst. i miss my best friend.

i'm ready for this week to be over. i'm ready for the summer, and to leave brownwood for a while, and to just be home. i'm not sure. i just well, i'm tired physically, mentally, spiritually. everything. sometimes i feel like i'm falling apart, and as soon as i get one part back in order the next comes loose and before i know it i'm broken.
i'll finish this later. i'm a mess, and my life is always on fast forward--no time to ever catch up.

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