s is for major suck

so i guess i had forgotten what it was to have a knot in the throat, or the tears just dying to fly out of my eyes. i guess it was long over due.
so i guess i still need to grow up. i still need to learn how to deal with confrontation. understanding. listening. more compassion. i don't even know.
all i know is that i didn't know i could hurt so bad.
i don't even know what happened. i feel so guilty, but i don't understand why.
everything was just fine. not so much anymore.
i feel so helpless.

i wish i could know, or even better just rewind the time.
maybe go back to when ...maybe just when we knew. when things were better.

oh my gosh. i can't do this anymore. i can't handle it. my insides are screaming, and i can't do anything but hide what i feel.
dang.
this sucks overall.